Discover how I turned decades of chaos into clarity, and how you can too.
My struggle…
For many years my life was completely unmanageable. I never knew how to regulate my emotions or stay focused or engaged on one thing at a time. I would be 45 years old before I was diagnosed with ADHD, in what my psychiatrist described as the easiest diagnosis of his career.
As a child this manifested in behavioural issues and a seeming endless cycle of disciplinary interventions. As I entered adulthood and lost the institutional protection offered by school and away from the watching eyes and loving arms of my parents, I fell into addictive and self-destructive behaviours. I had particular struggles with alcohol, drugs, sugar and spending money that I didn’t have; anything that took me away from who I was and what I was feeling…or not feeling.
The breaking point
This led to a massive long-term stress on my mental and physical wellbeing; and spiritually, I was broken.
As well as the alcohol and other substances, I spent many years taking anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications, and countless expensive therapy sessions; all to no lasting avail. Through my behaviour I damaged or totally blocked off relationships with family, friends and partners, and I found myself in significant financial distress. On a regular basis, I put myself in very dangerous situations.
Finding recovery…
I found direction…
But somewhere within me there was drive and desire to make up for lost time, repair myself and those damaged relationships and find true & deep happiness that wasn’t generated by external things.
I wanted to become somebody that I could be proud of. There was much to do! I became a voracious consumer of self-help books (the audio versions) and wellness podcasts. I became convinced that I could not only put my life back together, but I could build a brand new and much better one. And I have.
The science behind it…
I got honest and I got curious. I accepted my past and started focusing on the future. I have learnt that the secret to long term happiness comes from within. You can only to start there.
I learnt about things like neuroplasticity and the profound effect of your gut on your everday life. I learnt that you are not stuck with the brain that you have; you can change it. I came to understand about the profound and little understood connection between the mind and the body; in fact, I believe that there isn’t really a separation, so what is there to connect? But that’s semantics.
Real life application…
Slowly but surely, I began testing my newfound knowledge on myself and documenting what was working and what was not.
My quality of life instantly started to improve. I quickly started getting fitter and healthier in mind, body and soul, noticing the interconnectedness between those three areas and witnessing how progress in one area could profoundly benefit another.
As well as my own learnings and investigations I took qualifications in Coaching and as a Mind and Body Practitioner.
My life today…
Today, I am a Coach and a Mentor, helping others to change whatever they need to, or to get past whatever is in their way. I have mended relationships and have found an inner peace. At home I have a beautiful wife whom I adore, two great stepsons, and in 2024 I became a father for the first time.
Of course, like everyone, I still have life’s challenges to navigate, and I still make mistakes; this is a journey of progress not perfection. But today I have an inner resilience, a sense of purpose and perspective and importantly a practical toolkit, that I believe can get me through any situation with grace and the appropriate humour.
